Day 98-Fourth of July-A Discussion-The Sins of the Parents-07-04-06
Sister H talked to S about how our purpose is to get a body because the Savior came to earth to get a body. It’s about trying to follow His example. When Jesus Christ was resurrected, He showed his apostles and others that he still had a body. It was now exalted. When we are resurrected, we will have perfected bodies through Jesus Christ.
“Now to answer why you were born into an atheist home…, said Sister H. “Did God choose?”, asked S. I can’t imagine that God said, “Oh, here’s two messed up people. Let’s put S there.”
“Things are put in our path for a reason, I said. “They are to mold us and shape us to be better people. You’ve learned a lot.” “But couldn’t I have learned with loving, kind parents? Not one single member of my family attended my wedding. You talk about families being sealed together, my father did not walk me down the aisle. That is something that will haunt me forever. I mean, they all left town so that they would not even be in the same state.”
“When I was little, I had never been to a church. I had never talked to anyone about God; but I loved God. My parents hated me for that. Maybe the reason for all of the suffering I have had to go through has not been revealed to me yet; because certainly no one in my family has come unto Christ because of my dedication and devotion to God. When I was younger, whenever I would come home from church, my parents would beat the crud out of me. I mean I still got to go. I wasn’t kept from going, but I did pay for it dearly every time I came home. One of my friends at church said that he believed that God had a purpose for me. When I got married, my husband said the same thing. So I thought, well, okay, maybe this was all worth it. God has some great plan for me. But now that I am older, I can’t help but think that there was no great plan.
“Your life is not over,” said Elder D. “Well, there is nothing that explains why my parents were so mean to me…” Brother H said, S think about this, “We don’t see things as God sees them. Sometimes a family grows wicked. In the case of Noah, it was the human family. God helped Noah preserve the human family. In your case, your family was in this abusive pattern. You were the one to break the cycle. That is very important. Your children are not being raised as you were. That is huge. That is big. That is really amazing.
Elder D. then added, “I’d be willing to guess that you’d be a totally different person. You are strong. You are a loving person. I am willing to bet those things are because you have seen what is not so strong, what is not loving or caring. You’ve seen both the good and the bad. You’ve made a choice. Let me share a scripture with you. This is from the Book of Mormon. Ether 12:27 “And if men come unto me, I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me and have faith in me. Then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”
When I look at your situation, this is what I see. The weak things, those things that you endured that were bad, are now your strengths.
“I have so much to learn,” said S. (Everyone laughed) (S is so happy and loves to laugh). Sister H said, “You know, here is something that I have learned. Heavenly Father does not stop people from making choices. You were put into a situation where your parents were making bad choices. I mean abuse happens to a lot of people, just like you, and you did not do anything to deserve that, but the choices that your parents were making…” “But He did love and take care of me,” said S. “Exactly,” said Sister H, “In spite of the choices that your parents were making. That is something to think about, too. Sometimes there is really nothing that a person does to explain the consequences that happen to them.
“Remember the story of the blind man?” said Elder Davis. “There was a blind man. Jesus and his Apostles were there. They asked him which person had sinned. Was he blind because he had sinned or was it the parents? Jesus Christ said that neither of them had sinned. He is there so that he can show forth the works of God. So, Jesus went and healed him. That was his purpose, to show the people the power of God.”
“But what about this verse-and this is the one that has always haunted me, cause ya know I don’t come from a very great family-it says that the fathers sins are passed down to the children. Is that why my life has been so hard? Is it because of the sins of my father? Did God punish me…?”
“You are not accountable for those sins. They are not your sins. But parent’s choices are going to affect the children. It is basically saying that the choices we make have an effect on everyone. Your parent’s choices had an effect on you. You now have a choice in how you will let this affect your children. Does this make sense?” said Elder D.
“Well, yes, actually it does,” said Shelley.
“I think we’ve given you a lot to think about today,” said Elder D. “Yeah, I’ve got this whole booklet and we’ve only gotten through the first page! But that’s okay,” said S. “One page at a time,” said Elder D.
“Now to answer why you were born into an atheist home…, said Sister H. “Did God choose?”, asked S. I can’t imagine that God said, “Oh, here’s two messed up people. Let’s put S there.”
“Things are put in our path for a reason, I said. “They are to mold us and shape us to be better people. You’ve learned a lot.” “But couldn’t I have learned with loving, kind parents? Not one single member of my family attended my wedding. You talk about families being sealed together, my father did not walk me down the aisle. That is something that will haunt me forever. I mean, they all left town so that they would not even be in the same state.”
“When I was little, I had never been to a church. I had never talked to anyone about God; but I loved God. My parents hated me for that. Maybe the reason for all of the suffering I have had to go through has not been revealed to me yet; because certainly no one in my family has come unto Christ because of my dedication and devotion to God. When I was younger, whenever I would come home from church, my parents would beat the crud out of me. I mean I still got to go. I wasn’t kept from going, but I did pay for it dearly every time I came home. One of my friends at church said that he believed that God had a purpose for me. When I got married, my husband said the same thing. So I thought, well, okay, maybe this was all worth it. God has some great plan for me. But now that I am older, I can’t help but think that there was no great plan.
“Your life is not over,” said Elder D. “Well, there is nothing that explains why my parents were so mean to me…” Brother H said, S think about this, “We don’t see things as God sees them. Sometimes a family grows wicked. In the case of Noah, it was the human family. God helped Noah preserve the human family. In your case, your family was in this abusive pattern. You were the one to break the cycle. That is very important. Your children are not being raised as you were. That is huge. That is big. That is really amazing.
Elder D. then added, “I’d be willing to guess that you’d be a totally different person. You are strong. You are a loving person. I am willing to bet those things are because you have seen what is not so strong, what is not loving or caring. You’ve seen both the good and the bad. You’ve made a choice. Let me share a scripture with you. This is from the Book of Mormon. Ether 12:27 “And if men come unto me, I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me and have faith in me. Then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”
When I look at your situation, this is what I see. The weak things, those things that you endured that were bad, are now your strengths.
“I have so much to learn,” said S. (Everyone laughed) (S is so happy and loves to laugh). Sister H said, “You know, here is something that I have learned. Heavenly Father does not stop people from making choices. You were put into a situation where your parents were making bad choices. I mean abuse happens to a lot of people, just like you, and you did not do anything to deserve that, but the choices that your parents were making…” “But He did love and take care of me,” said S. “Exactly,” said Sister H, “In spite of the choices that your parents were making. That is something to think about, too. Sometimes there is really nothing that a person does to explain the consequences that happen to them.
“Remember the story of the blind man?” said Elder Davis. “There was a blind man. Jesus and his Apostles were there. They asked him which person had sinned. Was he blind because he had sinned or was it the parents? Jesus Christ said that neither of them had sinned. He is there so that he can show forth the works of God. So, Jesus went and healed him. That was his purpose, to show the people the power of God.”
“But what about this verse-and this is the one that has always haunted me, cause ya know I don’t come from a very great family-it says that the fathers sins are passed down to the children. Is that why my life has been so hard? Is it because of the sins of my father? Did God punish me…?”
“You are not accountable for those sins. They are not your sins. But parent’s choices are going to affect the children. It is basically saying that the choices we make have an effect on everyone. Your parent’s choices had an effect on you. You now have a choice in how you will let this affect your children. Does this make sense?” said Elder D.
“Well, yes, actually it does,” said Shelley.
“I think we’ve given you a lot to think about today,” said Elder D. “Yeah, I’ve got this whole booklet and we’ve only gotten through the first page! But that’s okay,” said S. “One page at a time,” said Elder D.
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